What Did You Gain?

Location: Behind the Wheel
Feeling: Thankful
Question: "After all of this, what good came out of it?"

It is far too common that victims of chemical dependency not only have to suffer with their addiction, but with the awful aftermath. My dearest friend, also very young, has been through far more than a beautiful woman such as herself deserves. She has more at stake; her pancreas has taken the blow, and I have confidence that she will be able to take care of herself and not result in death from a failing pancreas.

That's one of many sad stories I have heard since the start of my sobriety. A woman in my aftercare group has one month to live, and she is spending her Tuesday evenings going to meetings to stay sober. It amazes me that even when her time is so limited, she puts her sobriety above all else. That is how crucial it is.

Here's a question to ask yourself...After all of your drug abuse, after all of those dark moments and suffering, was there any gain? Did you get anything good out of it in the end? I don't mean the feeling, I speak of any benefits. Would something great not have happened if it werent for your drug of choice? Most answer no, and few have minimal things.

I have but one thing, and I'll admit that it's pretty damn funny...partially because it was Toga Night at a frat house. I drunkenly told this man that I had the biggest crush on him (had I been sober, I would've never told him). It turns out he liked me as well, even though he just broke up with my friend.
"YOO MEAN IZ NOT JUS MEEEEE?"
"Erm...nope."
We dated for a few weeks, and have been in a relationship for half a year now. He is incredibly supportive, and has given up alcohol in order to support me even more and join me on this path to sobriety. I am so thankful to have that kind of support in my life, and wish for everyone to seek that kind of support. No matter who you are, you are loved. Everyone suffering from chemical dependency deserves help from someone dear to your heart.

I gained nothing else from alcohol. I lost a whole lot more. Anybody who says they've gained more is either not ready to become sober or is an awful liar. There is so much more to gain without those drugs. It is important that although our recovery is one day at a time, we start thinking long term. If financially you're tight now, and spent far too much on your drug, now you can be motivated to save what would've been drug money. If your drug caused you not to attend school or apply for jobs, now you can get back on track. If loved ones distanced themselves from you because of drugs, now you can do what you can to make amends.

Also, if ever you are tempted, if ever you have that craving again, ask yourself the question I asked myself, "What good came of it?" That short term feeling is not a benefit, it is not a gain. The disease wants to give in to loss, don't let it. Being able to overcome those weak moments is the greatest gain for a recovering addict.