Location: New room for summer classes
Mood: Excited
Question: "When is is ok to laugh at myself, to joke about my condition?"
Maybe I'm just desperate for humor. That I can easily see; I'm almost always going for a giggle, just because I'm much more comfortable when everybody's smiling. If I can amuse a group with a mere comment, then I know I'm in a good place. People have definitely noticed this and have admitted that there were times when it felt like I was trying too hard, or that I was doing it because of my insecurities...and frankly, I don't see too much wrong with either. It's me. We're all insecure about something, and at least I'm trying to make everybody feel good!
Even when it comes to my alcoholism (5 months drink-free in two days, btw), I'm not afraid to crack a joke. Those jokes get the least amount of laughs though...of course I only test them on my closest of friends who know about the situation already, but I wish they could understand that I'm at the state where I'm comfortable enough to laugh about it. Sure, it's a serious thing that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, but I feel that if you're not able to see it in a brighter life, you're going to have more difficulty with it.
Let's take, for example, obesity. There are plenty of comedians we know who are able to laugh at themselves because of their physique. The fat jokes always get laughs. There are some people, however, so insecure about their self-image that they crumble whenever they think a part of them isn't good enough. As sad as that is, and as much as I would want to help anybody in that situation (provided I've previously suffered from bulimia)...people give much more respect to the comedian who is able to laugh about it. We love Jack Black. John Belushi and Chris Farley still have special places in our hearts. Who doesn't appreciate Queen Latifah? They're bigger, yeah, and they're aware of it. They're not in denial, and won't keep hush hush about it.
I'm trying to go for that same approach with my disorder. It's ok to laugh, guys. Laughing is the greatest therapy. It cures all. That's why humor is so important to me, and I want to be able to still share humor through my great challenges. I'm not trying to be insulting, or degrading; I just want to lighten the mood. Please, laugh with me...partially so I don't feel awkward afterwards. ;D
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
"Wait, you're a WHAT?"
Location: The park with my good friend and our dogs.
Mood: F-ing Awesome
Question: Who do I tell, and what will they think?
A wise patient in treatment once said, "There is a difference between secrets and privacy." This is something I will always remember, yet it is something that not everybody entirely understands. So today, I will be diving deeper into the meaning of this statement, in the hopes that we can take as much as we can out of it.
Imagine yourself watching a cheesy soap opera...and the mother declares, "I'm...an alcoholic." DUN DUN DUUUUN! Everything is SO different now! This is incredibly dramatic and we see her in a different light! She's not the same woman she used to be!
...eeeh...not exactly true.
Imagine watching a drama about a family on a farm, and the drunken father stumbles in. Beating his wife, the children hide under the kitchen table and sob. DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! The man himself is the bad guy! Only bad people end up doing this!
...eeeh...not exactly true.
Finally, imagine a college student. He has friends, he pregames before parties. Doesn't know when to stop. Gets to the party. Doesn't know when to stop. Shit goes down, he fucks up. But don't worry...this is totally normal and is expected. He's not gonna stop now! This is FUN!
...eeeh...not exactly true.
The media has shined a light on the issue of alcoholism in a way that makes me furious. Rarely are characters with this problem accurate or realistic in shows, and the tabloids attack celebrities who actually suffer from this disease. Sure there are some cases that I would agree with (Charlie Sheen insulted A.A. and accused it of ridiculous things, I show little pity), but these people do not deserve to be overwhelmed by the public.
My little sister doesn't know about my alcoholism. She knows I'm home for medical reasons, but she is not yet ready to learn about this. It's disappointing that I have to wait and tell her when she has matured more so she can understand. If I were to tell her now, she would relate me to images of Lindsay Lohan, because that's all she knows about the issue. The media has tainted minds of people who know so little about the disorder of chemical dependency, and I must keep that in mind when I figure out who I am comfortable sharing this information with.
It's not a secret from my sister, and I strongly emphasize that. I'm not scared of her finding out, nor do I plan on keeping this away from her forever. It's a matter of privacy; this is something that I have to suffer from, and not everyone has to learn immediately. I do not yet trust my little sister, for it is not something that should be carried in the form of gossip. Secrets come and go, but when things are considered privacy, they are much more personal and significant to one's being. Trust and maturity are necessary.
Most friends back at school are clueless to my alcoholism. True, they know I'm home for medical reasosn, but the few who know the whole truth understand that it is my responsibility to tell who I think should know (and for that I could not thank them enough). Provided that these are college students, they have matured much more than my little sister...but some still might judge me, not fully understanding the disease. I understand...before I realized what was happening, my thoughts on alcoholism were entirely different. I have learned so much about myself and alcoholism these past few months, and I do not plan on ever forgetting.
However, perhaps I'm a little too cautious about who I tell. I do fear how people will react. One friend said, "WOAH, you are? I would have never guessed!" Not unreasonable, but also not helpful. If you were to walk down a street, you wouldn't be able to point out which people are addicts and which are not. We don't wear a sticker, at best we carry our sobriety coin in our pocket or wallet. Many successful and wonderful people are chemically dependent, in fact, most people I've met at meetings are friendly and great to talk to. There is the awful stereotype that lower class, miserable people are only dealing with this. That could not be more off. True, depression and addiction can go hand in hand (one leading to the other, depression leading to addiction in my case), but some very happy people are in need of recovery, and some very unhappy people are struggling from other things, not including this.
It is important that I tell myself that I should not be ashamed of this. I cannot think of one person who has never been upset with themselves for something they have no control over. This is simply another thing I cannot control. By understanding this, I have been able to make it to step 4...alcoholism is but ONE thing I have no power over. Because I now know this, I am able to let go of other things and let the world do what I cannot. It's a beautiful feeling, and even if you dont have my same disease, you should still understand that you can only do so much on your own.
I am with a friend who knows, and he understood right away without judging. It's so comforting to have such supportive friends and family members. Even people who aren't so close to me know, and they too are supportive without judgement. You'll be surprised how many caring people there are out there. You are not alone. It should only be your role to inform people; tell who you feel comfortable telling, but don't feel as if it's a dramatic plot twist in your life that you can't tell people who are significant to you. Be comfortable with who you are, this is but one quality that you deal with, and it does not define you. Those who are worth keeping around will know this as well, and be there for you all through life.
Mood: F-ing Awesome
Question: Who do I tell, and what will they think?
A wise patient in treatment once said, "There is a difference between secrets and privacy." This is something I will always remember, yet it is something that not everybody entirely understands. So today, I will be diving deeper into the meaning of this statement, in the hopes that we can take as much as we can out of it.
Imagine yourself watching a cheesy soap opera...and the mother declares, "I'm...an alcoholic." DUN DUN DUUUUN! Everything is SO different now! This is incredibly dramatic and we see her in a different light! She's not the same woman she used to be!
...eeeh...not exactly true.
Imagine watching a drama about a family on a farm, and the drunken father stumbles in. Beating his wife, the children hide under the kitchen table and sob. DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! The man himself is the bad guy! Only bad people end up doing this!
...eeeh...not exactly true.
Finally, imagine a college student. He has friends, he pregames before parties. Doesn't know when to stop. Gets to the party. Doesn't know when to stop. Shit goes down, he fucks up. But don't worry...this is totally normal and is expected. He's not gonna stop now! This is FUN!
...eeeh...not exactly true.
The media has shined a light on the issue of alcoholism in a way that makes me furious. Rarely are characters with this problem accurate or realistic in shows, and the tabloids attack celebrities who actually suffer from this disease. Sure there are some cases that I would agree with (Charlie Sheen insulted A.A. and accused it of ridiculous things, I show little pity), but these people do not deserve to be overwhelmed by the public.
My little sister doesn't know about my alcoholism. She knows I'm home for medical reasons, but she is not yet ready to learn about this. It's disappointing that I have to wait and tell her when she has matured more so she can understand. If I were to tell her now, she would relate me to images of Lindsay Lohan, because that's all she knows about the issue. The media has tainted minds of people who know so little about the disorder of chemical dependency, and I must keep that in mind when I figure out who I am comfortable sharing this information with.
It's not a secret from my sister, and I strongly emphasize that. I'm not scared of her finding out, nor do I plan on keeping this away from her forever. It's a matter of privacy; this is something that I have to suffer from, and not everyone has to learn immediately. I do not yet trust my little sister, for it is not something that should be carried in the form of gossip. Secrets come and go, but when things are considered privacy, they are much more personal and significant to one's being. Trust and maturity are necessary.
Most friends back at school are clueless to my alcoholism. True, they know I'm home for medical reasosn, but the few who know the whole truth understand that it is my responsibility to tell who I think should know (and for that I could not thank them enough). Provided that these are college students, they have matured much more than my little sister...but some still might judge me, not fully understanding the disease. I understand...before I realized what was happening, my thoughts on alcoholism were entirely different. I have learned so much about myself and alcoholism these past few months, and I do not plan on ever forgetting.
However, perhaps I'm a little too cautious about who I tell. I do fear how people will react. One friend said, "WOAH, you are? I would have never guessed!" Not unreasonable, but also not helpful. If you were to walk down a street, you wouldn't be able to point out which people are addicts and which are not. We don't wear a sticker, at best we carry our sobriety coin in our pocket or wallet. Many successful and wonderful people are chemically dependent, in fact, most people I've met at meetings are friendly and great to talk to. There is the awful stereotype that lower class, miserable people are only dealing with this. That could not be more off. True, depression and addiction can go hand in hand (one leading to the other, depression leading to addiction in my case), but some very happy people are in need of recovery, and some very unhappy people are struggling from other things, not including this.
It is important that I tell myself that I should not be ashamed of this. I cannot think of one person who has never been upset with themselves for something they have no control over. This is simply another thing I cannot control. By understanding this, I have been able to make it to step 4...alcoholism is but ONE thing I have no power over. Because I now know this, I am able to let go of other things and let the world do what I cannot. It's a beautiful feeling, and even if you dont have my same disease, you should still understand that you can only do so much on your own.
I am with a friend who knows, and he understood right away without judging. It's so comforting to have such supportive friends and family members. Even people who aren't so close to me know, and they too are supportive without judgement. You'll be surprised how many caring people there are out there. You are not alone. It should only be your role to inform people; tell who you feel comfortable telling, but don't feel as if it's a dramatic plot twist in your life that you can't tell people who are significant to you. Be comfortable with who you are, this is but one quality that you deal with, and it does not define you. Those who are worth keeping around will know this as well, and be there for you all through life.
Monday, April 25, 2011
What Did You Gain?
Location: Behind the Wheel
Feeling: Thankful
Question: "After all of this, what good came out of it?"
It is far too common that victims of chemical dependency not only have to suffer with their addiction, but with the awful aftermath. My dearest friend, also very young, has been through far more than a beautiful woman such as herself deserves. She has more at stake; her pancreas has taken the blow, and I have confidence that she will be able to take care of herself and not result in death from a failing pancreas.
That's one of many sad stories I have heard since the start of my sobriety. A woman in my aftercare group has one month to live, and she is spending her Tuesday evenings going to meetings to stay sober. It amazes me that even when her time is so limited, she puts her sobriety above all else. That is how crucial it is.
Here's a question to ask yourself...After all of your drug abuse, after all of those dark moments and suffering, was there any gain? Did you get anything good out of it in the end? I don't mean the feeling, I speak of any benefits. Would something great not have happened if it werent for your drug of choice? Most answer no, and few have minimal things.
I have but one thing, and I'll admit that it's pretty damn funny...partially because it was Toga Night at a frat house. I drunkenly told this man that I had the biggest crush on him (had I been sober, I would've never told him). It turns out he liked me as well, even though he just broke up with my friend.
"YOO MEAN IZ NOT JUS MEEEEE?"
"Erm...nope."
We dated for a few weeks, and have been in a relationship for half a year now. He is incredibly supportive, and has given up alcohol in order to support me even more and join me on this path to sobriety. I am so thankful to have that kind of support in my life, and wish for everyone to seek that kind of support. No matter who you are, you are loved. Everyone suffering from chemical dependency deserves help from someone dear to your heart.
I gained nothing else from alcohol. I lost a whole lot more. Anybody who says they've gained more is either not ready to become sober or is an awful liar. There is so much more to gain without those drugs. It is important that although our recovery is one day at a time, we start thinking long term. If financially you're tight now, and spent far too much on your drug, now you can be motivated to save what would've been drug money. If your drug caused you not to attend school or apply for jobs, now you can get back on track. If loved ones distanced themselves from you because of drugs, now you can do what you can to make amends.
Also, if ever you are tempted, if ever you have that craving again, ask yourself the question I asked myself, "What good came of it?" That short term feeling is not a benefit, it is not a gain. The disease wants to give in to loss, don't let it. Being able to overcome those weak moments is the greatest gain for a recovering addict.
Feeling: Thankful
Question: "After all of this, what good came out of it?"
It is far too common that victims of chemical dependency not only have to suffer with their addiction, but with the awful aftermath. My dearest friend, also very young, has been through far more than a beautiful woman such as herself deserves. She has more at stake; her pancreas has taken the blow, and I have confidence that she will be able to take care of herself and not result in death from a failing pancreas.
That's one of many sad stories I have heard since the start of my sobriety. A woman in my aftercare group has one month to live, and she is spending her Tuesday evenings going to meetings to stay sober. It amazes me that even when her time is so limited, she puts her sobriety above all else. That is how crucial it is.
Here's a question to ask yourself...After all of your drug abuse, after all of those dark moments and suffering, was there any gain? Did you get anything good out of it in the end? I don't mean the feeling, I speak of any benefits. Would something great not have happened if it werent for your drug of choice? Most answer no, and few have minimal things.
I have but one thing, and I'll admit that it's pretty damn funny...partially because it was Toga Night at a frat house. I drunkenly told this man that I had the biggest crush on him (had I been sober, I would've never told him). It turns out he liked me as well, even though he just broke up with my friend.
"YOO MEAN IZ NOT JUS MEEEEE?"
"Erm...nope."
We dated for a few weeks, and have been in a relationship for half a year now. He is incredibly supportive, and has given up alcohol in order to support me even more and join me on this path to sobriety. I am so thankful to have that kind of support in my life, and wish for everyone to seek that kind of support. No matter who you are, you are loved. Everyone suffering from chemical dependency deserves help from someone dear to your heart.
I gained nothing else from alcohol. I lost a whole lot more. Anybody who says they've gained more is either not ready to become sober or is an awful liar. There is so much more to gain without those drugs. It is important that although our recovery is one day at a time, we start thinking long term. If financially you're tight now, and spent far too much on your drug, now you can be motivated to save what would've been drug money. If your drug caused you not to attend school or apply for jobs, now you can get back on track. If loved ones distanced themselves from you because of drugs, now you can do what you can to make amends.
Also, if ever you are tempted, if ever you have that craving again, ask yourself the question I asked myself, "What good came of it?" That short term feeling is not a benefit, it is not a gain. The disease wants to give in to loss, don't let it. Being able to overcome those weak moments is the greatest gain for a recovering addict.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
My Own Steps
Location: A.A. Meeting
Feeling: To be honest, a little bloated.
Question: "Am I really only at step 2?"
This coming Sunday marks three months sober, which is the longest I have been sober since I began drinking. By far. True, drinking was not a part of my life for as long as others, and it might not be as impressive as for those who make it there after drinking for years and years, but hey. I'm still proud. An addict's an addict.
In treatment I went through step one EASILY. But I find myself having difficulty with steps 2 and 3. For most people I know, these are the easiest steps, because they already have a religious background or were previously spiritual in some way. This is not the case for me; although my father was raised Catholic and my mother Lutheran, neither of them continued their religion or expressed it in our family. Sure, there was Christmas, but I can't even remember the last time I've gone to church.
Ok, I lied. I do remember. I remember hating it because I was young and immature, being forced to go to Sunday school. The thing I hated was the fact that I was forced to wear a nice dress...one I thought looked like a messed up picnic cloth. That's all I could focus on too. I learned nothing. I admire those who are so dedicated to their higher power, but I've just never been one for that myself.
Even when I was given my assignments for treatment, one of them was to read about spirituality, because I was "lacking". Any awakening? Nope. I tried, I opened myself up to ideas. The closest I've ever been to religion or spirituality besides that was in my college Intro to Islam course. And now all I'm able to do is pick at politically incorrect muslim jokes. Joy, now I'm officially a buzz kill.
For those who are able to achieve these steps, I congratulate you and give you each 5 golden stars. For those who can relate, and I'm guessing a good number of younger addicts can, it's all in time. If I were to try and explain my idea of a high er power, I would settle with the energy of the world. No I am not one of those "Woah, you have a red energy now, sorry to piss you off" people, and I don't think random items like lamps, rubber ducks, and dildos have their own spiritual energy (unless you make an energizer bunny battery joke, then the dildo's energy goes on and on). But the people of the world certainly do, and everyone's energy varies. We are each other's own higher power, I think. As a whole, we are creators.
See? You can tell I suck at the whole spiritual thing. I tried.
For MY sake, I would LOVE for someone to write about this if they once went through similar struggles. That would be nice; I could use some pointers.
Feeling: To be honest, a little bloated.
Question: "Am I really only at step 2?"
This coming Sunday marks three months sober, which is the longest I have been sober since I began drinking. By far. True, drinking was not a part of my life for as long as others, and it might not be as impressive as for those who make it there after drinking for years and years, but hey. I'm still proud. An addict's an addict.
In treatment I went through step one EASILY. But I find myself having difficulty with steps 2 and 3. For most people I know, these are the easiest steps, because they already have a religious background or were previously spiritual in some way. This is not the case for me; although my father was raised Catholic and my mother Lutheran, neither of them continued their religion or expressed it in our family. Sure, there was Christmas, but I can't even remember the last time I've gone to church.
Ok, I lied. I do remember. I remember hating it because I was young and immature, being forced to go to Sunday school. The thing I hated was the fact that I was forced to wear a nice dress...one I thought looked like a messed up picnic cloth. That's all I could focus on too. I learned nothing. I admire those who are so dedicated to their higher power, but I've just never been one for that myself.
Even when I was given my assignments for treatment, one of them was to read about spirituality, because I was "lacking". Any awakening? Nope. I tried, I opened myself up to ideas. The closest I've ever been to religion or spirituality besides that was in my college Intro to Islam course. And now all I'm able to do is pick at politically incorrect muslim jokes. Joy, now I'm officially a buzz kill.
For those who are able to achieve these steps, I congratulate you and give you each 5 golden stars. For those who can relate, and I'm guessing a good number of younger addicts can, it's all in time. If I were to try and explain my idea of a high er power, I would settle with the energy of the world. No I am not one of those "Woah, you have a red energy now, sorry to piss you off" people, and I don't think random items like lamps, rubber ducks, and dildos have their own spiritual energy (unless you make an energizer bunny battery joke, then the dildo's energy goes on and on). But the people of the world certainly do, and everyone's energy varies. We are each other's own higher power, I think. As a whole, we are creators.
See? You can tell I suck at the whole spiritual thing. I tried.
For MY sake, I would LOVE for someone to write about this if they once went through similar struggles. That would be nice; I could use some pointers.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Why "Early Bloomers"?
Location: My very messy bedroom
Mood: Content
Question: "Sooo...what now?"
A few people have already expressed interest in helping me out with this blog, whether it be telling their stories to just speaking about something significant in this lifelong process of recovery. Hurrah! They also mentioned that they like how it doesn't really have much structure yet; there is appeal in the blog forming as it grows. An interesting point. I'm normally someone who likes to know what I'm getting myself into, but this is a great change. My only hope is that it forms into something that people can continue to enjoy and appreciate; without a plan, it could easily form into something that could die easily. All in time.
The title of the site may change as things progress, but I know that at least one person is bound to ask why I chose "Early Bloomers". Sounds like a cheesy website for premature baby showers (if that's even a thing). While I was in treatment, I was easily one of the youngest there. One significant difference that I spotted was that I had not been dealing with this addiction nearly as long as other people. Some patients had been dealing with it for decades...and I'm only two decades total. I'm thankful, however, that I am getting the help I need at THIS point in time; I'm learning a lot of things about myself that I wouldn't have learned until late in life. The struggles I'm dealing with now are ones that not all young adults deal with.
I admire those who are recovering at my age because they are learning and dealing with these same struggles so soon in life. This will make us stronger as people, that is if we continue to support each other with our sobriety. We'll have a wisdom that those without this disease won't. We are early bloomers in life because we are now deeply becoming one with our inner selves. This realization of self being will not be as far down the path as for most, it is now.
This website has high hopes already, from multiple people. I encourage them to spread the word once they contribute; I have found people with the most interesting life stories. Learning people's backgrounds always shows me that even though we have addiction in common, all of our stories differ greatly. Please let me know if you would like to share. It doesn't even have to be a story. It can be anything you think will help yourself and others.
Although I have not met every victim, I can easily say that I wish you all the best and have you in my thoughts often.
Mood: Content
Question: "Sooo...what now?"
A few people have already expressed interest in helping me out with this blog, whether it be telling their stories to just speaking about something significant in this lifelong process of recovery. Hurrah! They also mentioned that they like how it doesn't really have much structure yet; there is appeal in the blog forming as it grows. An interesting point. I'm normally someone who likes to know what I'm getting myself into, but this is a great change. My only hope is that it forms into something that people can continue to enjoy and appreciate; without a plan, it could easily form into something that could die easily. All in time.
The title of the site may change as things progress, but I know that at least one person is bound to ask why I chose "Early Bloomers". Sounds like a cheesy website for premature baby showers (if that's even a thing). While I was in treatment, I was easily one of the youngest there. One significant difference that I spotted was that I had not been dealing with this addiction nearly as long as other people. Some patients had been dealing with it for decades...and I'm only two decades total. I'm thankful, however, that I am getting the help I need at THIS point in time; I'm learning a lot of things about myself that I wouldn't have learned until late in life. The struggles I'm dealing with now are ones that not all young adults deal with.
I admire those who are recovering at my age because they are learning and dealing with these same struggles so soon in life. This will make us stronger as people, that is if we continue to support each other with our sobriety. We'll have a wisdom that those without this disease won't. We are early bloomers in life because we are now deeply becoming one with our inner selves. This realization of self being will not be as far down the path as for most, it is now.
This website has high hopes already, from multiple people. I encourage them to spread the word once they contribute; I have found people with the most interesting life stories. Learning people's backgrounds always shows me that even though we have addiction in common, all of our stories differ greatly. Please let me know if you would like to share. It doesn't even have to be a story. It can be anything you think will help yourself and others.
Although I have not met every victim, I can easily say that I wish you all the best and have you in my thoughts often.
Friday, April 8, 2011
It All Starts Somewhere
Location: Work office
Mood: Optimistic
Question on my mind: Where all my (younger) peeps be at?
The window next to my desk shows the sun rise and fall. As nice as it is to have a view while I make calls that our customers hate, it's difficult to watch the day slip by and not do anything else with my time. That's what ultimately got me thinking about this site. There are periods of a time where I am waiting for something to do. Not just any thing, but something worth while. Something that makes me feel accomplished. What better than to kill a flock of birds with one stone (what a morbid thought, who the hell came up with that expression)? Not only do I have to prove my worth to my parents, but I also have to show improvement with my therapist and have been encouraged by many people to write out my feelings.
But I don't want this to be just about my life. Part of recovery is working as a team and understanding each other's thoughts. My hope with this blog is to have guest writers, and discussions with readers and writers alike. I want to know what you do to stay strong, and I want to share how I stay sober. I'm currently at 81 days, and I want this site to help all of us add more days to sobriety. Whether you've been clean for a few hours, or years, my wish is for you to contribute and help both yourself and your fellow victims to create a sanctuary.
I know I'm not the only one who has gone to a meeting and been one of the youngest there. Sure, there are meetings for teens and young adults, but many of us find a home meeting, or at least make habit of a handful that we enjoy. I just happen to appreciate the ones located at my old treatment center, and I just happen to go there with some people as old as my parents, even older. I still appreciate being there with them, and want to still include all ages. Although my main focus is on finding those who are newer to this "rodeo", I think those with more knowledge are greatly important.
Even if you're not chemically dependant at all, even if you just know someone who suffers from this disease, or even if you're a little too curious, I welcome you to read. Hatred and judgement are left at the door, so please read with an open mind and have respect those who are Early Bloomers.
Similar to meetings like A.A., we will hopefully only discuss these things on this website (and we would have to be much more rigorous on anonymity because of how easily things can change on the internet). I also have a blogtv account in case we want to have a regular online meeting (wow, just came up with that, that would be awesome). I understand how we all have different schedules and can't always drive to meetings. This could potentially be a way of growth from our own computers. I'm open to suggestions for the site; this is still a fresh idea and will consistently be changing from the original concept.
Help me make this a reality. Let's work together and create something new.
~MLE, founder of Early Bloomers
Mood: Optimistic
Question on my mind: Where all my (younger) peeps be at?
The window next to my desk shows the sun rise and fall. As nice as it is to have a view while I make calls that our customers hate, it's difficult to watch the day slip by and not do anything else with my time. That's what ultimately got me thinking about this site. There are periods of a time where I am waiting for something to do. Not just any thing, but something worth while. Something that makes me feel accomplished. What better than to kill a flock of birds with one stone (what a morbid thought, who the hell came up with that expression)? Not only do I have to prove my worth to my parents, but I also have to show improvement with my therapist and have been encouraged by many people to write out my feelings.
But I don't want this to be just about my life. Part of recovery is working as a team and understanding each other's thoughts. My hope with this blog is to have guest writers, and discussions with readers and writers alike. I want to know what you do to stay strong, and I want to share how I stay sober. I'm currently at 81 days, and I want this site to help all of us add more days to sobriety. Whether you've been clean for a few hours, or years, my wish is for you to contribute and help both yourself and your fellow victims to create a sanctuary.
I know I'm not the only one who has gone to a meeting and been one of the youngest there. Sure, there are meetings for teens and young adults, but many of us find a home meeting, or at least make habit of a handful that we enjoy. I just happen to appreciate the ones located at my old treatment center, and I just happen to go there with some people as old as my parents, even older. I still appreciate being there with them, and want to still include all ages. Although my main focus is on finding those who are newer to this "rodeo", I think those with more knowledge are greatly important.
Even if you're not chemically dependant at all, even if you just know someone who suffers from this disease, or even if you're a little too curious, I welcome you to read. Hatred and judgement are left at the door, so please read with an open mind and have respect those who are Early Bloomers.
Similar to meetings like A.A., we will hopefully only discuss these things on this website (and we would have to be much more rigorous on anonymity because of how easily things can change on the internet). I also have a blogtv account in case we want to have a regular online meeting (wow, just came up with that, that would be awesome). I understand how we all have different schedules and can't always drive to meetings. This could potentially be a way of growth from our own computers. I'm open to suggestions for the site; this is still a fresh idea and will consistently be changing from the original concept.
Help me make this a reality. Let's work together and create something new.
~MLE, founder of Early Bloomers
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